Drunkticon Karaoke
by poisonanon
Summary: Megatron is out, and the Decepticons have nothing to do! Until D-Cal and Blitzwing have a brilliant idea. KARAOKE PARTY! This was co-written with my friend, and this was all HER idea!


A/N This is a story co-written between myself and by a friend of mine on DA named Irrepressable. (aka Luna Foxwode) (aka Raeven) I don't have much to say about this story, other than we both had a damn lot of fun writing it.

Her characters are D-Cal, Valient, and Tremor. My characters are Stargazer and Flip. Yes, we do actually own them.

---

All was calm at the base- a virtual first for the Decepticons. Their mighty leader was off the base that night for some reason, leaving the remaining 'Cons with no orders and nothing to do. Needless to say, they were bored, bored, _bored_!

Starscream was chasing Stargazer all over the base, probably because of some potentially hilarious argument that D-Cal had missed. She repressed a shudder when she wondered as to the whereabouts of the green seeker's twin, Flip. Maybe she didn't want to know.

Lugnut, as always, kept going _on_ and _on_ about the _glorious_, MIGHTY Megatron! The worst thing is, she was actually bored enough to listen!

The turned to Blitzwing, who sat down with both feet on the table. The glowing red features amid a black abyss were a clear sign that he was in his "random" phase. The triple-changer spoke, saying the exact same thing that everyone else was feeling. "I am so _BORED_!"

A pair of pure white eyes glowed from the darkness in the corner. Aside from Megatron, nobody knew anything about him, aside from his name- Tremor. In a deep, clear voice, he spoke up. "Then what do you suggest we do tonight?"

A mischievous smile flickered across D-Cal's dark lips. She turned to Blitzwing, who faced her with a similar, more manic smile. Simultaneously, they shouted, "Karaoke night!!!"

Everyone stopped moving. Starscream had stopped chasing Stargazer, Stargazer stopped fleeing. Her twin's head popped out from behind Skywarp, who was hiding in the corner, and pretty much everyone in the place had a face of absolute shock.

Stargazer was the first to break the silence.

"GENIUS!" she shrieked, "ABSOLUTE GENIUS! Where are the speakers!?! We need speakers, and lights, and microphones, I'll download the songs, we need lots and lots of energon-"

"I'll sneak some high grade from ol' Megs's private stash," her twin commented, with a look of downright sneakiness, "It's not as if he'll do anything to me if I take the blame."

Pretty soon, the idea of standing on a stage singing like a goddamn idiot while everyone watched you being a goddamn idiot stopped sounding so bad.

Within the hour, the stage was set and everybody was seated. A brightly colored newcomer sat and sipped energon next to Tremor. D-Cal and Blitzwing were currently up on stage singing a slightly mismatched duet version of _I Want It That Way _by the Backstreet Boys_._

Tremor looked at his tie-dye-patterned companion and asked, slurring, "Heeeeey Valiant?"

Valiant looked at the astral-blue fellow sitting next to him. "Yeah?"

"If you were... hehe... if you could pick a oo... a hyugh... *snick* a **'hoomin** song 'ta 'a-scribe you, what... which'un 'ja pick?"

Immediately, Valiant responded, "_It's Raining Men_."

Starscream, who up until then had been glaring silently at the stage, spun around, surprised. "What was that?"

Realizing what he had said, Valiant corrected himself. "Ah, _Singing In The Rain!"_

Stargazer responded, "_For the first time in history it's gonna start rainin' men!" _And her twin shouted, pretty much sloshed at this point: _"It's rainin men. Hallelujah! It's rainin men. Amen!"_

Being the impulsive being that she was, D-Cal just _could not_ resist the urge to join in. Jumping down from the stage, she sang along, "_I'm gonna go out, gonna let myself get absolutely soaking wet!!!"_

Just then, the door burst open, but everyone was too involved with witnessing Valient's embarrassment. In stormed the Autobots, with confusion crossing their faces. This wasn't a scene they had suspected to come across. Optimus Prime stood dumbstruck as all the 'Cons in the base suddenly burst out, _'HALLELUJAH! IT'S RAININ MEN! EV'RY SPE-CI-MEN: TALL BLOND DARK AND LEAN ROUGH AND TOUGH AND STRONG AND MEAN!!!!!" _Bumblebee recognized the tune, and leaned over to speak to Prowl, 'Why the slag are the 'Con's singing _It's Raining Men?"_

Prowl had his own question: "Why the slag did that little green sparkling just pull Blurr into the dance floor?"

Stargazer, who was laughing as she pulled the blue Autobot to the center of the room, began to shout, _"GOD BLESS MOTHER NATURE!"_

Flip, the only one to know about her sister's attraction to the poor 'bot, snorted her drink and fell over her chair, laughing in drunken happiness.

Blurr, scared for his life, only had one thing to think to himself, 'I blame the Weather girls.'

Within minutes of the Autobots' unexpected entry, D-Cal was all but draping herself over Prowl. "Hey there, soldier. I looooove cyber ninjas. Too bad most of them act like they have a potato in their tailpipe. Let's have some fun!"

Prowl just barely had enough time to give Optimus Prime a plaintive 'help me' look as D-Cal grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him onto the dance floor. Blitzwing was up controlling the music in his own hilarious way. He raised up his hand. "DJ Blitzwing in ze hizzouse! Let's play some mad music!"

D-Cal practically squee'd when _Escapist _by Nightwish started playing. She and Prowl were twirling about the dance floor- well, she was twirling _him,_ anyway. When she finally released him, Prowl could not remember any time recently when he had felt so relieved.

Somehow, somebody had managed to get Valiant wasted. Leaning against Optimus Prime, he sang at the top of his lungs, "_On top of old Staaarscreeeeam, I wish I could beeeee! If I was organic, then I'd poo and pee!"_ (Think the tune to "on top of old Smokey)

Optimus pushed him away, overcoming his horror long enough to chastise the brightly colored drunk. "Not in front of the sparklings!"

Standing right behind him them with a drink in her hand Flip replied, "Don't worry about me. I watch South Park."

The Autobot leader smacked his forehead and muttered, "Damn media..."

After D-Cal and Blitzwing were done, and hopping off the stage, Stargazer finally released the traumatized blue autobot, and was now dragging her twin toward the stage, "C'mon! C'MON!!!" Flip was flailing her arms, "NO! Don't WANNA!"

"Pffffft!" She sighed, "Fine! STARSCREEEEAAAAAAMMMM!!! Get your aft OVER here!" The trine leader crossed his arms and shook his head. "No. Hell NO."

"Aww, c'mon you whiny little VIRGIN!"

"I am NOT a virgin!"

Star and Flip started to grin at each other, "So you're...." Flip began, "LIKE A VIRGIN????" Star finished.

_"Like a Virgin! Touched for the very first time! Like a virgin! When you're Heeeaaaarrrttt beats!"_ the sister's sang in monotonous melody. D-Cal and Blitzwing were busy clapping their hands to the beat of the song.

"FINE! I'll go sing a stupid organic song with you!" Starscream pouted, striding over to the stage.

Even though everyone was pretty much gaining hangover for the morning to follow, Starscream couldn't help to feel a little embarrassed. He could feel Slipstream grin at him. And the slagging autobots looked too damn pleased with themselves by the fact that they were going to get to watch him sing.

"What are we singing then?" he asked the young Seeker in Training, "And if it's the 'Transformer Theme Song', I'm kicking your aft so hard into next Tuesday, it'll be **WEDNESDAY**."

She smirked, "Oh, it's just a general song." And then the beat of Paralyzer by Finger Eleven began to play.

_'I'm not paralyzed but I seem to be struck by you!'_

Flip was sitting next to Ramjet and Sunstorm, taking heavy gulps of High grade while everyone watched Starscream and Stargazer make complete and total asses of themselves.

Sunstorm, determined to please, started cooing at Flip, 'Your sister has the greatest voice I have ever heard! Such skill! Such talent!" And then Ramjet added, "SHE HAS THE BEST VOICE IN THE UNIVERSE! Better then BLONDIE!"

Flip, almost too drunk to care, only nodded. Slipstream was choking with laughter, trying to hide her giggles into her hand. Skywarp mumbled, "At least Screamer looks as if he's enjoying himself." Ramjet scoffed, "Oh please! He's as nervous a bunny rabbit up there!" Skywarp cowered, "What did you say about rabbits?" Ramjet looked at him in confusion, "I didn't say anything."

_'I want to make you move, because you're standing still, if you're body matches what you're eyes can do!'_

Meanwhile, on stage, Stargazer and Starscream where having a grand ol time being complete idiots, dancing around, doing cartwheels, and singing with voices that could wake the dead.

Bumblebee, always ready for a good party, immediately grabbed the nearest drunken hand that was being waved in the air (this happened to be Slipstream) and started to dance. Following suit, everyone began to dance, and soon there was a lot of people screaming and jumping up and down on tables. Thundercracker even tried stage diving!

In a few hours, the party had started to wind down. D-Cal had to half-drag a passed-out Thundercracker back to his quarters. "Oof! It's a good thing flyers are lighter than they look- 'cept for Lugbutt, of course. Ugh. Still damn heavy. I turn into an '81 Trans Am, not a tow truck!"

The aforementioned aft-kisser was suspended from the ceiling with bungee cords and jumper cables, occasionally letting out a tiny little burp. (So cute while he's sleeping!)

When most 'Cons were being dragged to their quarters, someone had decided to let the stereos blast music, courtesy of Stargazer, and now everyone was sitting on the floor, almost like kindergarteners, listening to music like 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds' by The Beatles and 'Danke Shoen' by (I don't know look this up for my please). Stargazer was performing the human ritual of lighting something on fire and waving it in the air. Bumblebee recognized it, and followed suit. Pretty soon, every one was drifting off to sleep. Either because they were tired, or the Energon was just too strong for them.

....

After an incredibly exhausting wild goose chase, Megatron had finally returned to base. As he entered, he heard music coming from inside. The sight that met him was... unexpected, to say the least. Decepticons AND Autobots lay passed out everywhere. Bizzarre machines were hooked up on a raised platform, lights were strewn about all over the place, and- wait, was that _his _high-grade? Enraged, he climbed up onto the raised platform and kicked one of the machines over. The screens of several of them lit up. One of them started scrolling written lyrics to a song.

....

As D-Cal finally became aware of her surroundings again, she muttere, "Oh, my aching processor..."  
She suddenly noticed a voice coming from somewhere else in the base. She dragged herself out of her quarters and went to investigate. When she arrived in the room where the party had been held the night before, she was completely speechless. The karaoke machines were running, the music was playing, and _Megatron _was singing to Gloria Gaynor!

_"Go on now, go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore! Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? You think I'd crumble. You think I'd lay down and die! Oh no, not I! I will survive! Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I will stay alive! I've got all my life to live and I've got all my love to give and I'll SURVIIIIIIVE!!!!"_

By the time the dumbstruck Trans Am was finally able to form coherent thought again, she could only think one thing. '_I'll be slagged, he's actually pretty good!_'

END!


End file.
